Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Bachelor, Class B (Geographical)

A while back, I introduced you to some military slang with the term "tracks" as used to describe the insignia of a Captain (in the Army, Air Force, or Marine Corps, that is ... the Navy has to be different, and a Navy Captain is the same as a Colonel in the other services. Go figure.).

Today, we take another stroll through the vocabulary of military service as I describe my current condition ...

Yesterday Agnes departed for her trip to Germany to visit her cousin Anna in Reutlingen and her parents in Singen am Hohentwiel, landing in Frankfurt a full 45 minutes ahead of schedule in spite of the ongoing ground workers strike. She'll be gone for two weeks, leaving me - in the slang of the military - a "Class B" or "geographical" Bachelor.

A person in military service is often transferred on a temporary basis to a location other than his (or her) usual duty station. The Army and Air Force refer to such an assignment as "temporary duty," or "TDY;" the Navy, again having to go its own way, refers to it as "temporary assigned duty," or "TAD."

In the olden days, before there were large numbers of women in the Service, it was generally the husbands who left for TDY or TAD, for periods ranging from a few days to six months. These husbands often referred to themselves as "Class B" or "geographical" bachelors ... single by virtue of distance. Some men took this as an opportunity to fish in new waters and plow distant fields, if you get my drift; others used it as a chance to catch up on sleep, read a few new books, or buff up with some extra time in the gym. Wives generally tended to assume the former, and Class B bachelors returning from their trips were carefully examined by their suspicious spouses for the presence of stray female hairs or lipstick stains on clothing.

I am fortunate in that Agnes has full faith and trust in my faithfulness in her absence. Leaving aside for the moment the fact that I think fooling around is wrong, being married to a German redhead is a great motivator of fidelity. We all know about the image of the fiery redhead ... and the warlike German ... now combine the two, and ... well, let's just say that it's a lot safer to be faithful.

There's also the ankle bracelet and the GPS tracker. And a reinforced battalion of friends at the dance studio and around the neighborhood who serve in the unofficial Spousal Fidelity Monitoring Service.

And then there's Nessa, who is charged with barking ferociously at any woman under 75 who approaches the house or comes within 50 feet while we're out for walks.

The ladies in this family stick together.

So, this Class B (Geographical) Bachelor will be spending the next two weeks cleaning house, walking Nessa, playing with the grandchildren, and generally being a good boy. Because who knows? - Agnes may bring me a treat when she gets back.

One can only hope.

Have a good day. Faithfully. More thoughts tomorrow.



Amanda said...

You've got the right idea there. When I got back, Richard had tidied up every single cupboard in the house - kitchen drawers, sock drawers, computer rubbish drawers...everything!

Big Sky Heidi said...

Great thoughts -- While you're on Bachelor Class B status, don't let the dishes and the laundry pile up. That would be a nightmare for Agnes after an eight-hour or so flight.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I've been amused that, with Navy officers, some Captains are not commanders of ships; and if the ship or boat is small, the commander might have a rank below Captain.

sounds like you're on TDY status with regard to housecleaning -- and cooking, if you go healthy and avoid eating out overly much.

Mike said...

Take Nessa and move into a motel. That way the house will be just like Agnes left it.